~~@#!!!##$$%~~

~feeling unappreciated~

~why,oh why~

~though I know I'm being tested~

~My dear GOD ,only YOU know how I felt~

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saye sayang makjang saye...

I once said to Ijad that I have two mums..Well,it's true.I do have two mums;mama and mak anjang..The two most important women in my life..Now that I'm married,I have three mums..hehe..Anyway, my makjang was my mum since I was small...She practically raised me alongside my mama cause we stayed in the same house.

I think I starts sleeping with her when I was 2 or 3 years old.As mama told me when I was bigger,that she had to sneak me out from makjang's bedroom and take me to sleep with her.Then in the middle of the night, if I realized that I was not sleeping with makjang,I would cried and ran to her room instead...I remember when I was small,my family members would asked me questions such:

"nanti makjang kawin,cane?" Then I would boldly said: "Lin tolok suami makjang tido bawah" mine or mine,sometimes I had this guilt that I was responsible of her being single till today..But then again who am I to questions Allah's destiny for her?

My late Tok Wan always reminds me to take of her and I will (InsyaAllah) do my very best to gave back all the love that she had given me all this times..

I'm kidnapping her for a week to stay with me now,though she's been complaining that she got nothing to do here,I knew she is having a good time relaxing at my place...Planning to take her to do some shopping at Jusco once hubby's back..

work..not working..working???

Yes!The decision is final,I will not be working untill further notice..When it comes to that darling big sparkling eyes girl, "I" are now turned into us or we.As much as I would like to work,she's is always on top of my list as I said before.Here's some of my pro's and con's:

Pro's:(InsyaAllah)

• I would not missed her first laugh,first word,etc.


• we both would not be worried about leaving her to strangers.


• She would be able to be fully breastfeed exclusively.
  

Con's:

• Me not having my own money..(financial independency)


• me not having my own space (really?hehehe,ai'syah sleeps at 8pm)


• me having my low-self esteem syndrome again when I'm around friends who work
  

Conclusion:

The word "me" cannot be used in my case,she and we and us are more like it..As I poured out this thoughts to my very young but wise girlfriend, she then said to me " Kak Lin,janganla you risau dgn duit yg you mungkin takle nk bg kat mama you bulan2, mungkin bukan masenye lagi..Sape tahu setahun dua lagi camane,Tak semua orang sekaye you skrg,ade anak,ade suami, ade keluarge yg sayang.."

P/s:How I am glad to have a friend like you...Thank you dear..:))

4 years..and its growing stronger...

I can still remember one particular night that completely change my life..

That late night phone call..

That conversation that brings a smile and a happy tears to my eyes....

That one answers that kept me blushing...

That proposal...That declaration...That you are falling for me....

And that I am falling into you....

Sayang...I love soo much...And I pray that this love will last forever...

Only He knows how thankful I am to have you in my life..

Your my knight in shining armour, my hero , and my Superman....